![]() ![]() ![]() In fact, any discipline methods that use power over a child teach him to use power over others, or to let others use power over him. Research has repeatedly established that physically disciplining a child is associated with more bullying behaviors. If you spank, your child will learn that physical violence is the way to respond to interpersonal problems. Children learn both sides of every relationship, and they can act either Rather than relationships that use power or force to control them. The most effective way to keep children from being bullied, and from becoming bullies, is to make sure they grow up in loving, respectful relationships, ![]() Model compassionate, respectful relationships from the time your child is small.Īs Alice Miller, author of Thou Shalt Not Be Aware, wrote: "If children have been accustomed from the start to having their world respected, they will have no trouble later in life recognizing disrespect directed against them in any form and will rebel against it on their own." The good news is that you can help your child develop the skills to stand up to bullying behavior, and you can keep him fromīecoming a bully. Of bullying include higher risk for depression, anxiety, PTSD, substance abuse and self-destructive behavior. Recent research shows that long-term consequences The interaction of bullying and social media seems to have increased the psychological danger, so that kids feel they don't have a safe refuge,Īnd more teens and even middle schoolers are committing suicide in response to bullying. Unfortunately, our school cultures are still struggling to implement effective approaches, and the situation is getting worse in many communities. Restorative justice circles, conflict resolution training and transforming the culture of a school have all been proven to be more effectiveĪpproaches to reduce bullying than targeting bullies with punitive punishment. Many kids describe themselves as having been subjected to bullying but also as having bullied others. Schoolers admit to participating in bullying behavior, so clearly our culture bears some responsibility for the pervasiveness of bullying. Depending on which survey you read, between 40 and 80 percent of middle The awareness and skills to protect himself when necessary, and to seek help when he's in over his head.īullying behavior begins in preschool and gains momentum as kids grow. Your goal is not to insulate your child, but to support him to develop And all children want to get their way, which means they will sometimes abuse power that's developmentally normalĪnd short-lived in a context where they're also developing empathy. There have always been hurting people who act out by hurting others, and your child's path will Unfortunately, then, kids who are hurting often hurt other kids.Ĭan you bully-proof your child? Unfortunately, no. Humiliated, threatened, or hurt him, those feelings often threaten to overwhelm his psyche, and he lashes out, wanting to humiliate, threaten If he's hurting inside, it can help him feel a little better for a short time. Power by bullying can feel as potent as a drug. And for a child or teen who often feels powerless in her life, abusing In healthy ways, it can be hard to resist using it in unhealthy ways. We all need to feel powerful in our lives. In that moment, the bully’s power is broken, and, in the aftermath, the girl finds not only her voice but a new friend as well.Why would a young person do such a thing? Because it gives her power. ![]() To her surprise and relief, more hands go up: She doesn’t want to paint a target on her own back. I want Paul to stop right now.īut she feels powerless to control the situation and is afraid of becoming a victim herself:Īfter the abuse turns physical, the teacher finally notices what’s going on, steps in, and asks, “Did anyone see what happened?” and unwittingly gives a schoolyard bully the ammunition he needs to torment the blushing boy.Īs the situation spirals from teasing to outright meanness and even violence, the girl wishes she could bring an end the bullying: Red begins when a nameless protagonist makes an innocent observation about a classmate’s red cheeks. This is why, even given the wealth of books already available, we at EBYR were especially taken with Jan De Kinder’s Red. What is rarer, though, is a book about bullying written from the viewpoint of a spectator - a child who sees bullying taking place, who doesn’t want to participate in it, but who is scared to speak out against it. There are books for kindergartners and books for teens books for the victims of bullying and books for the bullies themselves. Bullying is in the news daily, and books helping kids understand and develop healthy strategies to deal with the issue are abundant. At first glance, it might seem that there’s nothing particularly new or fresh about a picture book on bullying. ![]()
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